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Foreign Policy Analysis
Trump’s Foreign Policy | extra 3

Trump’s Foreign Policy | extra 3


I hope everybody had a nice Easter. Of course nobody had a nicer Easter than the Trump family. This is the president with his closest confidantes. The Easter bunny advises him in foreign-policy issues and Melania despairs of teaching Trump manners. So, for example, what to do as a president when the national anthem is played. Then she has to remind him softly what to do. That’s how it’s done, Donald! And always say “Thank You” to the butcher when he gives you a sliver of sausage. You understand? He doesn’t know all that stuff. He’d love to give a presidential impression but he doesn’t know how. He’d love to convey: “I’m a leadership personality.” “And if I, the president, send an aircraft carrier to North Korea…” “…it’s going to North Korea!” However, the carrier appears to be heading towards Australia instead. What can I say to that? Even the navy is completely confused. “So, what now? Backboard? Starboard? Waterboard? What did he say?” Of course it is complicated, especially North Korea is very complicated. Trump let the Chinese president explain it to him. Quote: “After listening for ten minutes, I realized it’s not so easy.” The American president realized it after only ten minutes. What would this man learn if he’d listen to anybody for an hour? How to boil water? Maybe. Did he really think that the conflict with North Korea could be solved easily? Quote: “I felt pretty strongly that they [the Chinese] had a tremendous power over North Korea. … But it’s not what you would think.” “It’s not what you would think.” No! And raisins are not little dried roses, although it’s what you could think. Nothing is like you would think. The stupid thing is: He would love to strike. Trump wants war. He has run hot. He wants to score militarily. A few weeks ago the word was “America first”, concentrate on your own country, only be the world’s policeman if you’re getting paid well for it. I’m asking myself: In which way didn’t Trump understand his own election programme? Suddenly, he is Dr. very-very-strange and has learnt how to love the bomb really quickly. It started two weeks ago with the missile strike on the Syrian airport. And Trump has recently explained how this situation was, when he gave the order during the Chinese president’s visit. “I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner, we were now having dessert. And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen. Aaaand… President Xi was enjoying it. And I was given the message from the Generals that the ships are locked and loaded. What do you do? And we made it to termination to do, so the missiles were on their way. Directly after the chocolate cake. They serve the war with the dessert. That’s how the Americans do it. This is why the Iraq War was called “Desert Storm”. And now there were 59 missiles heading towards… er… where did they go again? “Er… yes. OK, OK, that’s what I meant to say.” Iraq, Syria, what now? No idea. He can’t tell all these places in Mexico from each other. And by the way, last week Trump dropped the biggest conventional bomb ever in Afghanistan. The one with the stupid nickname. The so-called “Mother Of All Bombs” “Mother Of All Bombs” Yes. The bomb is a mother. Definitely a case for the child protection service. 8000 kilograms of explosives, 16 000 000 $ – just the right bomb for Trump’s ego.

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