Gayblack Canadian Man

Foreign Policy Analysis
Overly Excited Tourist Gets A Taste Of Wine Country

Overly Excited Tourist Gets A Taste Of Wine Country

– Whoa baby boy, my hat is a cork, my hat is a cork! I’m in Napa, Caffilornia. Home of the Slap the Bag. Let’s go hold our pinkies in the air and have a good time. (pleasant string music) Get out of my ass but leave the lights on, I’m at the famous Nipple River. They say it’s a hundred
feet splish splash, and it flows with the sweetest of Franzia. Look at these drunk ass ducks. Get out of the wine, ya nasty boys! Are you joking my ass? They got instructions
how to do the Cucaracha. (upbeat music) Hey honey, look at all
these nasty beehives. Only in Nipple Calesthenics. People told me, “Ryan, you’re gonna love the
art in Nalpal, California.” And I said, “Oh.” Lot of people think that
Nepal is a pretentious, hoity-toity, boring kind of place. But you’re damn right they have danosaurs! Wow baby boy, the Napa Valley Opera House. ♫ Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-lee snopes ♫ Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho Toly crobus, I’m at Nascar’s famous 9/11 Memorial. They say it’s a hundred feet big and I’m not sure why Napa has one. Tell you what, seeing all
these damn cherries around is making me thirsty as hell. (upbeat music) They told me “Ryan, don’t get too drunk
on all the fine wines.” And I was like, “Oh.” Piss on my face in private,
look at the size of this church. If Jesus turned water into wine, this must, this must be, this has gotta, this
must be the damn brewery. You know, I’ve always wanted
to hang out with The Rock. Oh wait, look at that! They told me, “Ryan, don’t
forget to do a tasting.” And I was like, “Oh.” I told this fella, “Hey
fella, my Asian doesn’t work,” and he said, “Well Eur-Asian Autowerkes!” In all honesty, I might have
to change my undies later ’cause drinking wine
gives me a loose caboose! What a day I’ve had here in Napa. Now I get to kick back with
a glass of the bad cherries. It even was the best day of my whole life. (upbeat music)

73 comments on “Overly Excited Tourist Gets A Taste Of Wine Country

  1. You do not know the JOY I had in watching you come to my town as the best tourist we've ever hosted. So glad your caboose was loosened, too. But… why didn't I get to be your guide? I blame all the big Os distracting you. Your bad cherry pretentious pinky lift at the end -> nailed it

  2. Effing loved it. Thank you for listening to feedback. In all seriousness, with a terminal disease (so not crobus), I felt special in that you came to Snapa. Ryan… you're a good one. Dying wish? To meet you and tour a spot together. #makeawish

  3. Come to Ireland. Here, you can kiss a stone that helps you talk, climb a mountain, drink Guinness, and get disappointed when you find out we don't have leprechauns.

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