Gayblack Canadian Man

Foreign Policy Analysis
Diddy Kong Country

Diddy Kong Country


(panting) Diddy, Donkey Kong has been kidnapped by Kaptain K. Rool! My god! If Donkey Kong is gone then… (British accent) Then I declare this Diddy Kong Country. What? What are you doing? Ehh, but you can’t just name the entire continent after yourself the second Donkey goes missing! Hmm, who’s going to stop me, old man? YOU? No longer will I be treated like a mere sidekick waiting for that over-sized oaf to break me out of a barrel. This is MY kong quest! I’ll never follow you! Hmm , very well. Kiddy , Ramby. What? What are you doing?! NOOOO!! *gets stabbed* Anyone else? What’s the matter, is my new queen getting cold feet? I’m DONKEY’S girlfriend! You’re sick!! You will learn to love me, my dear… DIDDY! How COULD you?! You said we would be together forever… Don’t be foolish, Dixie… You were a… pleasant distraction… But your services will no longer be needed… Ugh! You bastard! Farewell, Dixie! I… do hope your trip is… a blast… (HUE HUE HUE) You don’t have to do this, Rambi! I’m his animal buddy! I’m so sorry… *Oh dear, it seems I, within the context of the time allotted by the presence of sentient life, happen to have been shot out of a barrel by my estranged chimpanzee lover!* (laughs) (laughing evilly) Bow before your new Player 1! *indescribable chimp orgasm noises* *BING BING WAHOO*

100 comments on “Diddy Kong Country

  1. At 0:20 when diddy says who's gonna stop me I thought maybe Kaptain K Rool could if he already kidnapped donkey Kong.

  2. This is similiar to an episode of Donkey Kong Country where Diddy was the ruler instead of King K Rool. The funny thing is, Diddys voice in this sounds like King K Rools voice in the show

  3. Oh dear, it seems I within the context allotted by the presence of sentient life, happen to have been shot out of a barrel by my estranged chimpanzee lover!

    -like if you noticed

  4. Before Diddy's take over could start, The kongs could hear an angelic voice singing in the distance.
    "Yooooooou can't get away with this monkeyu busineeeeeeeeess!"
    With Dixie in tow DK grabs Diddy and stuff him in the Time Out Barrel so we can think about what he did."
    DK: Clearly you weren't ready little buddy, You failed the test, I wasn't kidnapped by K. Rool, That "Funky" You just killed, a robot, And did you forget Dixie's Helicopter spin? Now you sit there and think about what you did while we go out for banana milkshakes.
    Diddy: WHY YOU!!! I WILL GET OUT OF THIS I……I…. I want banana milkshakes too……..):

  5. When Mario was kidnapped Luigi didn't suddenly become a James Bond Villain, he risked his life to save him. Never trust a Monkey

  6. You forgot to put an actual joke. By that, I mean there's no punchline, he's just evil and that's it.

  7. You where a plesent distraction, priceless, will have to use that if I ever end up cheating on a girl and then she finds out

  8. First luigi dresses up in red to take player one and now diddy kong renaming the title of donkey kong country to diddy kong country what will be next

  9. (Meanwhile, in the real world)

    Diddy: [Acting all crazy in his sleep] Ahahaha! HooHoo! Ah! Ah!

    Donkey Kong: Uhhh… what is going on with him?

    Dixie: I think he's having a dream about ruling the country…

    Donkey Kong: Pfft… dreamer.

  10. In Morgan Freeman voice

    "He enjoyed his reign as well as any megalomaniac will, but at age 40 the last words he heard right before he was stabbed to death was Sic semper tyrannis…

  11. To be Honest, Funky could have just gotten his chopper and Bombed him.

    Also, I would've never thought of using Kiddy Kong's Rope animation too make him crucify someone

  12. Captain K. Rool, "Now with Donkey Kong out of my way nothing will stop from…" Mail Bird, "Message for K. Rool." (Reading letter). K. Rool, "They want me to be the hero?"

  13. I have subtitles on my tablet and don't know how to turn them off, it's a pain but sometimes you get gems like and I quote *indescribable chimp orgasm noises* at the end

  14. 1:11
    Oh dear, it seems I, within the context of the time allotted by the presence of sentient life, happen to have been shot out of a barrel by my estranged chimpanzee lover!

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